Wisely & Slow

 

“Why is it you whisper when you really want to yell? Troubles in tow, go wisely and slow” (Wisely and Slow, The Staves)

Why is it you whisper when you really want to yell?

I don’t want to be quiet anymore about my hopes and life goals. I want to continue to push people to pursue their passions, but I can’t put the process of pursuing mine on hold. I’m tired of whispering my secret dreams, I’m ready to yell.

“Troubles in tow”

There is definitely trouble without the lack of self care. And by self care I mean; a) time to myself (alone) and b) time with God. Two things that I often (often, often) do not include in my schedule.

“Go wisely and slow”

This time around, I’m going to go wisely and slow. Learn how to say a more thought out “yes” or more (and more) “nos”. Sit down, drink a glass of water and stare out the window. Go for runs more often. Spend more time outside. Read more. Call home more. Prioritize people better.

And as I look into what going wisely and slow looks like, I’ll remember this:

“The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” Deuteronomy 33:27

Happy 2017, go wisely and slow.

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Summer 2016: Rest & Rekindle.

*bits and pieces of what I’m learning this summer*

Rest

I think I’ll always be learning what it is I need for rest and how God breathes rest through so many different experiences, people, etc. Here’s what I’ve been learning this summer ’16:

Spend time outdoors (and I mean isolated somewhere deep in the woods) with ones I love. Exhale. 

Share more face-to-face rather than on an instagram post. Real & sometimes uncomfortable vulnerability.

Give myself more than enough time in the mornings before the day starts. “To love your life, do nothing with rush or resentment, but do everything as if you love it.” (Ann Voskamp)

Rekindle

It’s a summer of rekindling old friendships-The deep-rooted friendships that been there for a long time but have been a bit fogged over by time. And then there’s rekindling relationship with God. Learning how to remain soft-hearted and how to cling to the unchanging One in the midst of transition.

Resting & trying not to strive. Rekindling & not to burn out. Relieved because  “the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:17). 

and this…

Relief ( /release)

“Lean into the pain. Stay there in the questions, in the doubts, in the wonderings and loneliness, the tension of living in the Now and the Not Yet of the Kingdom of God, your wounds and hurts and aches, until you are satisfied that Abba is there too. You will not find your answers by ignoring the cry of your heart or by living a life of intellectual and spiritual dishonesty. Your fear will try to hold you back, your tension will increase, the pain will become intense, and it will be tempting to keep clinging to the old life; the cycle is true. So be gentle with yourself. Be gentle when you first release. Talk to people you trust. Pray. Lean into the pain. Stay there. And the release will come.” (Sarah Bessey)

God is here.

It was a couple years ago now that I was standing in front of 100 Indonesian children telling them that God is with them everywhere-And that they can speak to Him whenever and wherever. That bulk statement is still something I seem to be re-learning every day. God is with me everywhere. God is here. I can speak to Him right now.

A month and a bit ago I had the opportunity to speak at a high school girls’ chapel. When I was asking God what I should speak on, I felt like He just wanted me to speak about His presence. So thus, I found myself saying similar words that I said to the Indonesian children. He is everywhere! You can speak to Him in your shower! You can ask Him to help you in your studies! In your friendships!  I ended up finishing a little early and we had a bit of time left over. Earlier while I was introducing myself, I had mentioned that I was singing Adele’s ‘Hello’ with my school jazz band. When we were trying to figure out what we should do with the extra 15 minutes, one of the teachers shot up her hand and said “SING HELLO!” … And all of the 50 girls erupted in cheers and screams and “YEAHS” and before I knew it, we were all belting out ‘Hello’. And God was there.

I’ve been really trying to make Sunday a Sabbath and a time where I spend more with Him than just 20 minutes. Usually I’ll go downtown after church and find a good cup of coffee and journal and then proceed to just walk the streets, listening to music and praying. I remember one time I was walking and stressing about something and all of a sudden I felt like God said “HANNAH. I AM WITH YOU.” He is in the stress. A similar experience was when I was talking on the phone to my Mom inside of a Tim Hortons, sharing with her that I was just so overcome with anxiety at that moment…Mom prayed that my anxiety would disappear and it did. God was there with me in the Tim Hortons and He triumphs over anxiety.

Whenever I pray, I find myself saying these words out loud “God, help me to recognize You in the moment”. I see Him in the big but also in the small, in the ordinary. When you make a point of trying to see Him in the ordinary, He makes the ordinary extraordinary. Over and over again I learn the lesson that I always seem to be preaching to people “God is here. He’s everywhere. You can always talk to Him”. It’s such a beautiful truth that I never want to stop learning and experiencing.

“God wants us to have faith in His nearness, and that He will reward us when we earnestly seek Him” (Ann Voskamp)

“Just where you are, look for the small glimpses of God-glory breaking in, breaking out, spouting, shooting, unfurling, making a kingdom, remaking the world, bearing fruit” (Ann Voskamp)

 

The Art of Waiting

“Waiting is good. Good things come from waiting.”

I’m sitting here in a Starbucks trying to collect my scattered thoughts and wondering if we’re always going to be waiting for something. If I’m always going to be waiting for something.
How do I wait well? How do I wait being fully here? How do I wait anxiety free? What am I even waiting for? So many questions.

It seems as though the past few years of my life I’ve always had something in the back of my brain that I was waiting for, whether it was a big event like returning home for the first time in 7 months from adventures through Australia and Indonesia or something smaller like waiting until the day that I should probably start packing up my belongings for university.

I’ve just always had something concrete that I was waiting for, whether I was enjoying life fully at that moment or not. Now I’m at university and I’m supposed to settle in this new city for the next four years with no ideas of what my “future career”/just general future looks like, it feels like I don’t really have much to wait for.

And then I remember this phrase; “the best is yet to come” & I remember this promise from God:

“But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).

I can’t imagine or think up what could be better than what I have experienced in life already-Or the opposite; sometimes I can’t imagine things picking up and improving. It also makes me feel slightly uncomfortable because WHEN does the best come? Am I ever going to reach the best? Will I always be waiting for the best? And how about joy? How do I wait and be joyful at the same time? So many questions.

How can I wait well so that good fruit comes from my action and decision of waiting well? I think part of the key of waiting well is something that I seem to be hearing more about everyday. I need to continually ask God to help me live in the present, in the now, HERE. I find myself continually asking Him to show me what He’s doing right then and there. 

One of my favourite authors, Ann Voskamp, has this quote that I have a picture of on my phone and every time I go to clean out my photos and make room, I can never make myself delete this quote.

“It can look like we all have this Waiting Room Addiction: Waiting for the next season of life to say it’s good enough”

Is there such thing as ‘the art of waiting’? If there is, it’s an art I want to get good at. I don’t think it’s an art I will ever be able to master, but it’s something I want to grow in.

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him” (Psalm 37:7)(Besseggen, Norway)

“The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him” (Lamentations 3:25) (Winchester, Ontario, Canada)

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged”(Deuteronomy 31:8) (Somewhere between Christchurch & Queenstown, South Island, New Zealand)

I know that I’m known.

It feels so good when someone wants to know you. And I mean really know you, not just the program you’re studying at university or what you do on a Friday night but what side comes out of you when you’re really sleep-deprived or what your dream job is or do you have really bad road-rage or what has been the best moment of your life thus far. This summer I have many opportunities to get to know people, and it’s been giving me to much life, joy and insight. I’ve been wondering why it has been such a joy to just know people and I think it’s because I’m operating out of the knowledge of knowing that I am known.

“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
² You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
³ You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
⁵ You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it. (Psalm 139:1-6, ESV)

I rejoice in the fact that God knows me. I like that I don’t have to worry about being misunderstood or that when I’m feeling a certain way but I’m not exactly sure where it’s coming from-I can ask God “why”. And even though He knows everything-He wants to me to process, cry, laugh & question with Him. It just feels so good, right and safe.

^26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” (Romans 8:26-28, the MSG)

I know I won’t be able to know people like God knows them, but I think by wanting to know them is a way to love them. When we get to know each other, we get to see and discover pieces of good-Of God-in everyone, because we are all image-bearers of Christ.

I have been so thankful for this summer full of rich relationships.

Life is good.

One of my favourite things about God and something that I am learning at the moment is:

GOD IS [ALWAYS] GOOD DESPITE THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

If I’m being honest, life is hard right now but the most important part is that LIFE IS STILL GOOD and here’s why:

-I was handing out free carnations with my church’s youth group as a random act of kindness and a woman at one of the houses we visited had just been scammed two hours before and therefore was hesitant on receiving this free carnation. The story ends with all of us holding hands praying for healing for her hip and her thanking us, hugging us telling us we were an answer to her prayer.

-A friend of mine broke his leg so I went over to go and pray. He felt heat and tingling, better in his heart and closer to Jesus by the end of it all.

-I’ve been able to attend meetings of a church that’s going to start here in Ottawa. It has been so good for me to be there and meet and experience different people who seriously love Jesus and who have a heart to see Ottawa changed.

-I have so many opportunities to love people around me & show them who Jesus is and it’s really challenging but it’s addicting and rewarding.

-I have never loved reading the bible this much! So into the book of Psalms right now!

(**These are only a couple of examples of God’s goodness in my life right now.**)

Even though right now it sometimes seems like I’m trudging through mud, just trying to get through, I am JOYFUL because God has been and still is SO GOOD. I can honestly say that I have never felt closer to God than I do now.

Psalm 13:1-2

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
 How long must I take counsel in my soul
    and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

Psalm 13:5-6

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing to the Lord,
    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Whooo, God is good, guys.

top ten jams

It’s really hard for me to choose just 10 songs because I am all over the place with what songs I’m into…But I always love and appreciate it when people share their jams with me so I’m sharing mine with you! Hooray for discovering new tunes!

Top 10 Songs At The Moment (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER!)

1. Alaskans- Volcano Choir (The Volcano Choir is another band that Justin Vernon (Bon Iver) is a part of…So if you love Bon Iver you might like this album/song as well!)

Album: Repave

2. Silver Shore- John McMillan (This song is so full! And John Mark McMillan has a great vocal range)

Album: Borderland

3. Israel- Della Fern (I had the pleasure of meeting this band and playing a show with them while in Australia. They remind me a bit of the Canadian band ‘Hey Ocean!’. They’re INCREDIBLE to see live and deserve more recogonition! Check them out on http://noisetrade.com/dellafern and download their album for free!)

Album: The Great Unknown

4. Need It- Half Moon Run (I just love this song.)

Album: Dark Eyes

5. Talk Is Cheap- Chet Faker (One of my good friends describes Chet Faker’s voice as a ‘lazy voice’…This song is so catchy! He’s also Australian!)

Album: Built on Glass

6. Unbreakable Smile- Tori Kelly (Tori Kelly is definitely up there for one of my favourite vocalists…This is just one of those summer jams.)

Album: Unbreakable Smile

7. Son of Sorrows//A Song of Lamentation- Steve Schallert (This whole album is amazing and so well put together, I definitely suggest it! This particular song/songs )

Album: Songs of Sorrow/Songs of Hope

8. Slow Motion- PHOX (The singer ‘PHOX’ reminds me of Colbie Callailt, Corrine Rae Bailey and Norah Jones all in one.)

Album: PHOX

9. Golden- Szymon (Read Szymon’s story here: http://www.purplesneakers.com.au/2015/03/listen-szymon-golden/ )

10. Love Lost- The Temper Trap (I know this song is old, but I was able to get to know the Temper Trap’s music better and see them in Sydney…They’re such a talented band.)

Album: Conditions

Cheers

What Does Evangelism Mean To Me?

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” Matthew 28:19.

What does “going out and making disciples of all nations” look like in my life?

For awhile, there was a lot of pressure put on by myself and sometimes others (unintentionally, I’m sure) with the word evangelism and usually what followed.

e·van·ge·lism

əˈvanjəˌlizəm/

noun

1. the spreading of the Christian gospel by public preaching or personal witness.

When I used to think of what evangelism met, I would picture people going out onto the streets and confronting people with a bible and telling them it’s heaven or hell. I pictured it as a super uncomfortable and offensive act.

I’ve learned a couple things about myself since thinking thoughts like that.

1. FEAR: I was such a slave to fear. Fear is something I am constantly fighting. One big fear in my life has been fear of man. I have been scared to tell people about something way more powerful than them, about the One who has saved my life and has given me purpose.

2. COMPARISON: I found myself comparing how I told others about Jesus to how others told people about Jesus. I knew some people who were just so good at going up to a complete stranger and striking up a conversation and before I knew it, that person was saved and I felt useless.

So, one of the biggest things I’ve learned about evangelism is this:

BE YOURSELF

1. Unique Image-Bearers

It sounds cliche, but listen up. Genesis 1:27 says “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” We are all created in God’s image-And we are all unique. Everyone in this world is a unique image bearer of God. So…If we are all UNIQUE image bearers of God, that means we all represent God differently. He shows Himself through everyone differently.

2. The Holy Spirit

If you have asked Jesus to be in your life, that means that the Holy Spirit lives inside of you. John 14:26 says “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you”. The Holy Spirit speaks and guides us! Part of being yourself is listening to the Holy Spirit and letting yourself be led. A couple weeks ago I was walking down the street to get some coffee and I heard God tell me to go pray for this man I was about to walk by. Right away I said no and kept walking. As I was walking, I felt like God reminded me of one of the things I had been telling people and myself-I wanted this next season to be one of growing more intimately with God. I felt God saying “Hannah, a way to grow more intimately with me is to pray for this man!”. So, full of strong conviction I turned around and went looking for this man. I asked him if I could pray for him, and he had never been asked that before. Thankfully the Holy Spirit convicted me so strongly, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to pray for this guy!

3. Become Comfortable & Confident

You gotta realize your worth and potential. If you don’t realize how awesome and valuable you are, then you’ll always be comparing yourself to others and how they do things and comparing your relationship with God to their relationship with God. Not cool! Romans 5:8: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. Someone died for you because you’re loved & worth it. We need to help each other see in themselves how they represent God because sometimes the devil can cloud that up and distract us with lies instead of us living in God’s truths.

4. L O V E

It’s all about love. I want to love people like Jesus loves me. I prefer to not even use the term “evangelism” but to use the saying “living a lifestyle of love”. Sometimes evangelism/love looks like affirming someone when they need it, sometimes it looks like buying a homeless person a meal, sometimes it looks like walking straight up to someone with a cast on their leg asking if you can pray for healing. I can’t allow myself to feel pressured and miscounted if I didn’t evangelize the way I thought it was supposed to be done. Let’s let God’s love flow through us so people can know Him!

One time at work I felt pressure because I knew my co worker didn’t know Jesus but I didn’t know how I could share Him with her. I felt like God was saying “Hannah…Just be yourself!” So, we were exchanging stories and life experiences, I was being open and honest and myself as we packaged green beans and before I knew it, she was asking me about my faith & what it exactly meant to be a missionary.

So I ask the question again; what does “going out and making disciples of all nations” look like in my life/your life? It looks like you living out who you really are; your unique self, letting the Holy Spirit flow through you and you living confidently and comfortably in your own skin. It looks like acting out of love and not pressure! I looks like NOT giving into fear, laziness and comparison. It looks like us going out of our way (because God did…) and stepping out.

1 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light”

 

Let’s walk in that marvelous light.

New Zealand Times

When dreaming about the future, I tend to limit myself. A couple years ago, the only option with music that I allowed myself to dream about was getting a teachers degree and teaching it to children in school (and there’s nothing wrong with that, it just wasn’t for me at the time). Fast forward a couple of years and here I am, just back from touring New Zealand in a band & playing songs that I wrote for all different sorts of crowds-Not to mention recording an EP as well. With God there are NO LIMITS!

However, the best part of New Zealand wasn’t the playing in super hipster pubs, opening/playing with favourite bands, seeing incredible views or drinking excellent coffee, it was seeing a transformation in my own heart and because of that change in my heart, being able to connect well with the people in New Zealand, telling them who God is and being able to pray for them, blessing them and being blessed by them.

Myself and four other friends (Michaela, Jules, Stevie and Ryan) formed a band called Ransom Mystic and toured New Zealand for two months, our goal being to soften people’s hearts towards Jesus using music.

Our band had the chance to play a couple slots at a large music festival in Hamilton, New Zealand. While at the festival, myself and the two other girls in the band met a girl who had a large cast on her ankle. Although all three of us girls were a little intimidated about just walking up to her and asking her if she wanted healing, we all felt strongly that we needed to pray for her. We chatted with the girl for a bit and then asked if we could pray for her ankle and she said yes. After praying for a bit, we all looked up and the girl was crying, saying she felt heat and tingling and absolutely no pain. She had an x-ray later that day, so we didn’t get to see the results, but we trusted that her ankle was indeed healed. Months later, near the end of our trip, who should I bump into, but the girl! She immediately recognized me and told me excitedly that she went to the doctor and he asked why she was wearing a cast. Praise God!

There was one day where our band walked the streets of Wellington, the capital city of New Zealand. We came across some street kids and had easy conversation with them, hearing their stories and telling them ours. Then, we got to pray for them & see one of them ask Jesus to be apart of his life and to come into his heart! (Picture below of one of the guys we talked and prayed with)

I am a person who always likes to know what’s next-I mean, who doesn’t? So, I naturally started to let anxiety settle in my heart even before I left for New Zealand because I still had no idea of what was after New Zealand. Anxiety is not from God. Anxiety also is very good at taking you out of the present. God really taught me a lot about fully trusting Him and I have never lived as much in the present as I did in New Zealand! It’s freeing to free fall for a little.

As a band, God spoiled us and took care of us so well. We bumped into a travelling Australian pastor who asked us what foods we missed the most and bought all the things we mentioned. One night, our accommodation for the week fell through and it was 10:00 pm and we didn’t have a place to stay-But then we messaged some acquaintances who became good friends and stayed with them in their beautiful tree house of a home (it was actually a tree house), eating amazing home cooked meals and laughing lots.

“No unbelief made him (Abram) waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised” Romans 4:20

I had such an incredible time with God in New Zealand! Cheers.

it’s always good to obey & pray

These past couple of days, my team and I have travelled to 5 different cities and have screened a documentary entitled ‘Esto Es Reino: This Is Kingdom” created by the missions organization ‘Come & Live’ to a variety of churches. The documentary is all about three trips that Come & Live has made to Columbia and how God worked through them there. The documentary is full of healings, physical and emotional but also confronts the questions like “why didn’t this person get healed”. I’ve seen it 6 or 7 times now, but I got something out of it every time. I suggest you watch it!

I just want to share some things I’ve been learning over these past days.

Let me just get real with you. Sometimes I’m pretty sure God tells me to go and pray for someone (sometimes it will be when I’m walking to the grocery store, sometimes it’s during worship) and I just let things like time and fear get in the way. During worship at one of the documentary screenings, I felt convicted of not listening to God and repented (sounds pretty intense, I know). After that-God clearly pointed out someone I needed to go pray for. So, I got up and went to this guy (not really knowing what to pray for) and just started – And God right away spoke things to me that I should pray for over him. Afterwards, he came up to me and told me how good it was that I prayed for him and that he had had an incredible encounter with God. I also felt God give me an encouraging word for a girl sitting at the back of the room. I made my way to her, said the word and prayed for her. I felt kind of awkward about the whole thing and when I feel awkward about something, I try and peace out of the situation as quick as possible. So I started to get up but then she also stopped me and told me how accurate that word was, it was the word God had been speaking to her about 2015 and the way I said it was exactly what she needed to hear.

What am I learning through all of this?

“God isn’t looking for special people to flow through but for simple obedience”

It’s crazy. He chooses US to be His vessels, to be His hands and feet.

God could have just told me to give words to those two people and that could have been it-But He allowed me to hear from the people I gave the words to and see how He had spoken through me. There however, have been many times where I have given a word to someone or prayed for healing and did not hear or see anything. That doesn’t mean nothing happened. There are seasons-Seasons of planting, seasons of watering and seasons of reaping.

“In due season, we will reap if we DO NOT GIVE UP” Romans 8:25 says     “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience”. God hears our prayers, He uses us to pray! Don’t give up praying, He will come through.

I am headed off to New Zealand tomorrow! We will be playing at a large festival, coffee shops, pubs, any venues, really. Through it all I am going to remind myself of that verse Romans 8:25 & focus on loving people and obeying God. If you want to follow our journey, like our face book page: Ransom Mystic

Bless yah!